Yes its been a wile..... been really busy with work. Frustrated today, VERY frustrated. I only want the best from my little brother an don't want him to screw things up. But that's just seems to be what hes doing. I dont get it.... when one knows they have to do something or work hard to pay the next months rent ....why don't they do it. Some times i feel its like bashing my head against the wall. I am not sure what will make him wake up i am really not. And i am so worried about him. I know he does not want to go back with my dad but..... if he don't do the things he needs to that's where he will end up. I am suposed to be the failer not him.... an thats how i would rather it be. Yes i want people proud of me.... i want them to think better of me. But i would rather them think those things of my sister an brother before me. I dont want to see him do this to him self any more. I understand hes 19 an young. An some times he needs to screw up to learn. But if hes screwing up more then once an not learning..... does that mean there something wrong? My aunt an uncle now have me worried about his health. They keep bringing up doctors an saying he might be diabetic an have a mental problem. Only cause they are bashing their head against the wall trying to help him an hes not taking the the time to do the things so they can help him. Basically he needs next months rent.... so they said ok....we will pay it but you need to do work around the house, yard ect to work off the money an earn it. Well one would usually say ok what would you like me to do? But he slacks off, doesn't come over to work, doesn't help himself in any way by doing this either. I just want him to do well.... but if things keeping going like this.... i fear for him as well as myself. Cause it effects me as well emotional, mental an physically. I worry EVERY SINGLE DAY.........i wonder will there be a time where i wont have to worry about anybody else but my self. Then the things i worry about will be my own problems an my own faults. Well i have to open tomorrow an want nothing more then to sleep.... maybe kill some zombies then sleep. I hope when i wake up tomorrow.... things will be better.......hahahaha things fixing themselves over night.... thats funny